I can only imagine....

Yesterday, on Mother's Day, I had the honor of dining with my Grandmother.  She is 94.  She is amazing.

It really was an amazing time, and we hugged and laughed and cried.  I am lucky that my daughter has gotten to know her Great Grandmother, and learn from her as I have.

In the middle of our meal, time stood still, for about 8-9 seconds.  I couldn't move, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.  The simplest action.....

After a non significant bite, my Grandmother reached over and picked up my phone.  My iphone.

I couldn't speak because the view caught me off guard.  Here was this woman, who probably never imagined in her life that she would be where she is now, looking at a piece of technology that looked like a planet from another galaxy.  She didn't make a big deal of it, and her facial expression didn't change either.  She just looked.  She finally set it down, and I quickly quipped, "It's a camera too!"  Expressionless and without words, she picked up her fork and went back to eating.

I now hate my phone.  I hate that I carry it and rely so heavily on it's presence in my life.

Born in 1920, My Grandmother lived through an era that has seen not only an industrial revolution, but also a technological revolution.  Kicked out of her house at about 12 years of age, she has gone from making bread from scratch, to buying it in a store.  She washed her clothes by hand as a child, and now has the luxury of an automatic washing machine.  I pretend to understand.  But I can't.

I watched my grandmother wash tin foil and save it.  I have seen her reuse one box of ziploc bags over and over again.  She used to save every empty gallon of bleach and fill it with water and stow it away under the house.  We made ice cream by hand.  Hours of hanging clothes on the line, and tending a garden the size of what seemed like a city block.

Church on Sunday, Ravioli's on Christmas Eve, Family reunions, and fellowship.  Even after my Grandparents retired, they were philanthropic. Giving to those that needed, again and again.

She literally was in LOVE with my Grandfather, and vice versa.  They had hard times but always told me that they never went to bed mad.

She canned everything, and could cook the shit out of anything!  Going out to eat was a very rare luxury.  Always sitting down for a meal, table set to the nines.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

They saved their money.  They tithed. They spent responsibly and borrowed responsibly.

They had the same phone and the same phone number for as long as I can remember.  

My grandmother has no idea what WI-FI is.  And, she doesn't care.  Hasn't a clue what an xbox is, or how cell phones work.  It's just not important to her.  Why is it so important to me?

I could make a lot of excuses for why I have a cell phone, and all the luxuries that she never had, but the truth is, I'm lazy.  WE are all lazy.  Everything she had to work so hard for, are now at our fingertips.  It cost more, it's worse for us, but we still take the easier route.  I know how to make bread.  But I don't.  It would be cheaper and save money to hang the clothes on the line,  but it's faster and easier to throw them in the dryer.  Ya see, my grandparents, YOUR grandparents were doing it right all along.  They saved and conserved when they didn't have to, and we NEED to, and don't.  

I have more respect for my Grandmother than any other person on the planet.  She went "Green" long before it was cool.  She recycled, She didn't worry about GMO's or fighting to have them removed.  She grew and canned her own food.  Our grandparents did it right.  

And there she was, looking at my cellphone. My stupid iphone.  I think I will go bake a pie.