The last 12 hours have been a turning point for me. While I'm not ready to reveal all that I have been through, I am ready to leave some of it behind me.
I feel blessed to have Lydia. As many of you know, I have always said that if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have had children. NOT that I don't adore Lydia and everything that she and motherhood have brought, but the hurt that accompanies helplessness is agony. I just didn't think that shit through.
That being said, I think I feel a comfort knowing that the child that I do have, is pretty damned awesome.
Last night she made me smile and laugh until by belly hurt. This morning we had a monumental discussion on the way to school. I realized I had missed those talks. For the last couple of years she was within walking distance of school...and we didn't get to have talks. They are back.
Hours of therapy and doctor appointments, baby steps. One ride to school with a fabulous kid makes a long jump. Yay.
I know everyone loves their children for different reasons. I know people love MY child for different reasons than I do. But by far, I think the very best thing I love about Lydia, is that she is present. Not missing a fucking thing. I wish I could have been that way at her age.
Cannot wait to see what the future holds for her.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Undesireables you say?
When you were little did you suck your thumb? Perhaps gnawed on your fingernails like a beaver? Did good old moms have a solution to your problem? Wait? Problem? Did you have a problem or was it just bothering moms? My guess is it bothered your parent a lot more than it did you.
Parents always have solutions for problems they see. Whether reasonable or unreasonable, they make an effort to fix a "wrong". Politicians and people with money think they have to do the same thing.
Is it wrong to suck your thumb?
How about bite your nails?
Whatever the answer, it doesn't matter. Somehow we got past it with or without the folks' help, and grew to be adults only to see other adults doing the same things we were admonished for as children.
As parents it's our "job" to educate our children and care for them the best we can. We tend to make childhood behaviors problems to fix, however, fixing behaviors is only done one way. Education and leadership means everything.
Let's talk about culture for a bit.
Funny word indeed. In the medical world it conjures up visions of grossness of a vial of goo waiting to be tested. Most halfwits think culture is something in Europe. Just saying the word culture is like hocking up a loogie.
Maybe that is why people struggle with it. And, when I say struggle, I mean, ignore it.
Culture walks hand in hand with community. The complexities are immeasurable. Most of us usually only have to worry about our own circle, but when our own circle becomes infected, we tend to panic, and make stupid decisions, based on fear and money. (Fear of what might happen if we don't listen to the people with money.)
If you are a frequent reader of my shit, and you find my words harsh and or "too much" for your tender sensitivities....turn back now. Here we go.
Apparently some people have just figured out that there may be a homeless/drug problem on the harbor. Hey...I'm not perfect, but I call a spade a spade. Are you fucking kidding me? Just now? Geniuses.
One of these people being schooled as far as the doctorate level. Now, I'm no brain surgeon, but I do believe you have to have a marginal amount of brain matter in order to finalize a diploma inked with that of an institution guaranteeing that you might know what the fuck you are talking about. Just sayin.
Another prominent council-woman got to chime in as well. Her remarks were probably political suicide, but that remains to be seen. A gun toting mama in liberal land isn't going to gain a lot of marks in Good old Grays Hawba.
Here is the deal. Grays Harbor, Aberdeen in particular has an immense drug addiction/homeless problem. Many cities can chime in on the same notion, however, per capita, we are stacked. The numbers, and the obviousness, do not lie.
So many levels to address, and I should say that there are a few people that do care. People that understand the complexities of what it actually might take to turn things around. However, Those voice will never be heard. Not really anyway.
The truth is, no one really cared until the "problems" started creeping into their neighborhoods. Now the paper is scrambling for quotes. I'm sure it won't be long and King 5 and or Kiro 7 will be here asking the people with money what their next step might be.
FUCK YOU.
FUCK ALL OF YOU.
In fact, drop to your knees and suck my dick....and then fuck off.
First of all.....all of you bastards have known for some time how the problems were cavalcading and knew exactly what we needed to make amends. Fuck you. You opted for bullshit.
Keep working on tourism and tax breaks for shady ass businesses saying they will come here and then don't. Keep pouring money into tall ships and other bullshit causes that bring NO ONE here...Keep painting houses. Ha! Those houses are empty now. Fuckwads.
First you have to get over yourself and understand what addiction is. Then, you have to come together as a community and make a plan, and move in the same direction, which, as we all know, will never happen with current leadership.
Addiction isn't a word. It's a disease, and needs to be treated as such. Until this community understands this, nothing will change.
Being in the trenches of this culture has made me an expert on the subject. I can tell you, with all confidence, nothing will change until a culture of people change their minds and move together as one in the SAME direction.
I have a lot of ideas. Ideas that perhaps might make a difference. But no one listens to me. I'm not politically correct, nor do I want to be. I'm a realist and a humanist. Actions speak louder than words for me.
I sent a letter to the editor on this subject many years ago, which I will include at the end of this blog. I saw it coming. I knew what it was when it was. So here ya go, you tell me...
Human has a heroin(meth, cocaine, pills) problem. Addiction is daily. Can't just stop doing it, health risks are immeasurable. Options: 1. Keep doing it. 2. get help.
Option 1 is the easy answer. Option 2 is what everyone wants to see happen, but takes NO steps to see it through. Here is the realization.
Unless you have health insurance, there is NO help in Grays Harbor County. You can apply through DSHS to get help through their program, however, asking addicted people to jump through hoops is like asking dogs to use the restroom and remember to flush.
Addicted people often have no support from family or friends. Making it to appointments and following through with bureaucratic bullshit is not on the top of their lists.
So with no help, what are your options? Addicts have a huge fear of getting sick. Sick from coming down from their drug of choice. They fear it so much that they will do anything to get the next fix. I can paint a picture for you here...but the reality is, they fear it more than the justice system. In fact, sometimes, the justice system is what some WANT in order to get help.
This is all very cyclical, and not that complicated. What do desperate people do to get what they need. ANYTHING. Enter crime. duh. You can post all the signs you want Aberdeen, to not "give handouts" to the "undesirables" however, that 2 bucks you might push out the window could have saved a crime from occurring. get it?
Follow along here: THERE IS NO DETOX CENTER IN GRAYS HARBOR COUNTY (unless you are pregnant and female and/ or have insurance.)
So when someone wants/needs help....what are the options? Resources aren't large enough in this county to help all that need it. Period.
We have to change the conversation people. Stop pushing money to organizations that you "think" might be able to help. Make a plan to eradicate the problem, with real life solutions that will make a difference.
BTW, these undesirables that you speak of aren't aliens. They were once your co-workers, your neighbors, your children's friends, or perhaps your friends. They didn't arrive hear from planet nowhere.
NOT UNDESIRABLES. People. Humans. Suffering. Stop marginalizing a culture of people that you don't understand.
Parents always have solutions for problems they see. Whether reasonable or unreasonable, they make an effort to fix a "wrong". Politicians and people with money think they have to do the same thing.
Is it wrong to suck your thumb?
How about bite your nails?
Whatever the answer, it doesn't matter. Somehow we got past it with or without the folks' help, and grew to be adults only to see other adults doing the same things we were admonished for as children.
As parents it's our "job" to educate our children and care for them the best we can. We tend to make childhood behaviors problems to fix, however, fixing behaviors is only done one way. Education and leadership means everything.
Let's talk about culture for a bit.
Funny word indeed. In the medical world it conjures up visions of grossness of a vial of goo waiting to be tested. Most halfwits think culture is something in Europe. Just saying the word culture is like hocking up a loogie.
Maybe that is why people struggle with it. And, when I say struggle, I mean, ignore it.
Culture walks hand in hand with community. The complexities are immeasurable. Most of us usually only have to worry about our own circle, but when our own circle becomes infected, we tend to panic, and make stupid decisions, based on fear and money. (Fear of what might happen if we don't listen to the people with money.)
If you are a frequent reader of my shit, and you find my words harsh and or "too much" for your tender sensitivities....turn back now. Here we go.
Apparently some people have just figured out that there may be a homeless/drug problem on the harbor. Hey...I'm not perfect, but I call a spade a spade. Are you fucking kidding me? Just now? Geniuses.
One of these people being schooled as far as the doctorate level. Now, I'm no brain surgeon, but I do believe you have to have a marginal amount of brain matter in order to finalize a diploma inked with that of an institution guaranteeing that you might know what the fuck you are talking about. Just sayin.
Another prominent council-woman got to chime in as well. Her remarks were probably political suicide, but that remains to be seen. A gun toting mama in liberal land isn't going to gain a lot of marks in Good old Grays Hawba.
Here is the deal. Grays Harbor, Aberdeen in particular has an immense drug addiction/homeless problem. Many cities can chime in on the same notion, however, per capita, we are stacked. The numbers, and the obviousness, do not lie.
So many levels to address, and I should say that there are a few people that do care. People that understand the complexities of what it actually might take to turn things around. However, Those voice will never be heard. Not really anyway.
The truth is, no one really cared until the "problems" started creeping into their neighborhoods. Now the paper is scrambling for quotes. I'm sure it won't be long and King 5 and or Kiro 7 will be here asking the people with money what their next step might be.
FUCK YOU.
FUCK ALL OF YOU.
In fact, drop to your knees and suck my dick....and then fuck off.
First of all.....all of you bastards have known for some time how the problems were cavalcading and knew exactly what we needed to make amends. Fuck you. You opted for bullshit.
Keep working on tourism and tax breaks for shady ass businesses saying they will come here and then don't. Keep pouring money into tall ships and other bullshit causes that bring NO ONE here...Keep painting houses. Ha! Those houses are empty now. Fuckwads.
First you have to get over yourself and understand what addiction is. Then, you have to come together as a community and make a plan, and move in the same direction, which, as we all know, will never happen with current leadership.
Addiction isn't a word. It's a disease, and needs to be treated as such. Until this community understands this, nothing will change.
Being in the trenches of this culture has made me an expert on the subject. I can tell you, with all confidence, nothing will change until a culture of people change their minds and move together as one in the SAME direction.
I have a lot of ideas. Ideas that perhaps might make a difference. But no one listens to me. I'm not politically correct, nor do I want to be. I'm a realist and a humanist. Actions speak louder than words for me.
I sent a letter to the editor on this subject many years ago, which I will include at the end of this blog. I saw it coming. I knew what it was when it was. So here ya go, you tell me...
Human has a heroin(meth, cocaine, pills) problem. Addiction is daily. Can't just stop doing it, health risks are immeasurable. Options: 1. Keep doing it. 2. get help.
Option 1 is the easy answer. Option 2 is what everyone wants to see happen, but takes NO steps to see it through. Here is the realization.
Unless you have health insurance, there is NO help in Grays Harbor County. You can apply through DSHS to get help through their program, however, asking addicted people to jump through hoops is like asking dogs to use the restroom and remember to flush.
Addicted people often have no support from family or friends. Making it to appointments and following through with bureaucratic bullshit is not on the top of their lists.
So with no help, what are your options? Addicts have a huge fear of getting sick. Sick from coming down from their drug of choice. They fear it so much that they will do anything to get the next fix. I can paint a picture for you here...but the reality is, they fear it more than the justice system. In fact, sometimes, the justice system is what some WANT in order to get help.
This is all very cyclical, and not that complicated. What do desperate people do to get what they need. ANYTHING. Enter crime. duh. You can post all the signs you want Aberdeen, to not "give handouts" to the "undesirables" however, that 2 bucks you might push out the window could have saved a crime from occurring. get it?
Follow along here: THERE IS NO DETOX CENTER IN GRAYS HARBOR COUNTY (unless you are pregnant and female and/ or have insurance.)
So when someone wants/needs help....what are the options? Resources aren't large enough in this county to help all that need it. Period.
We have to change the conversation people. Stop pushing money to organizations that you "think" might be able to help. Make a plan to eradicate the problem, with real life solutions that will make a difference.
BTW, these undesirables that you speak of aren't aliens. They were once your co-workers, your neighbors, your children's friends, or perhaps your friends. They didn't arrive hear from planet nowhere.
NOT UNDESIRABLES. People. Humans. Suffering. Stop marginalizing a culture of people that you don't understand.
The following article was written in 2010 and submitted to The Daily World.
My Daily World Article
October 7, 2010 at 8:57pm
Angering the Masses
I’m scared. Scared for the future of this town, this county, this state, this Country. But for this letter, this harbor. Grays Harbor.
Election time. People campaigning, writing letters in support of their candidates, and ignoring the issues that need to be addressed. Soon the newspapers will chime in on who they think will benefit this harbor. It’s all sickening really.
Good intentions in public service have left this harbor in very bleak times. Small town mentality has ruined what is known to many as home. My home. I would like to offer up some alternative thinking in this time of elections, but first, some undeniable facts that no one wants to talk about.
There are no jobs. There aren’t any jobs on the horizon. Families are leaving in droves. Before you disagree that there ARE jobs….I’m talking about family wage jobs. If anyone who disagrees with me can tell me how to raise a family on $8/hr…..I’m listening.
One of the biggest employers on the harbor is Wal Mart. So very sad. I don’t want to hear how you have to shop there….because it isn’t true. I have been unemployed since Sept. of 2006 and haven’t stepped foot inside that building. What is worse than the numbers they employ, is the the numbers that shop there! Yep, keep using self checkout too….eliminates more jobs!
WE as a harbor need to understand it’s time to re-visualize the future of our towns and resources. Fish and Timber are nothing to lean on anymore. I can’t believe I have to say that out loud. Industry either needs to come back, without bureaucratic b.s., or we need to shift gears and find a new way to survive.
WE have resources in this town that we haven’t even begun to utilize. Everyday almost everyone on the harbor drives over the biggest one. It’s called the Chehalis River. For goodness sakes people…..haven’t you not noticed the wetness under the bridge? I hope I don’t need to spell out that this river is full of other resources too. Nope…guess not…it’s probably more important that AHS getting artificial turf! Absurd.
WE have people of every age, race and creed walking the streets of this county with no place to call home. If It helps you sleep at night to donate $5 to the mission, well then I guess that is your choice. It doesn’t even begin to solve the problem. WE should be embarrassed and should expect more from ourselves.
WE have children that need and deserve hope.
WE have teachers that are working without the resources they need.
WE have entrepreneurs that can’t start businesses.
WE have people that want to work.
WE have problems that can’t be ignored any further.
This harbor and the towns on it are surrounded by rich history, natural resources, and very capable people willing to save their community. So why do we remain stagnant?
I know there are Civic Groups and Organizations trying to blaze forward and make a difference. However, much like politics, if you don’t get a consensus on what the future needs and holds, it isn’t going to work. This is a fact. And also much like politics, if you don’t involve everyone, from every economic stance, you may as well mow your grass with the vacuum cleaner.
So what does public service mean this year to the future of your town or your county? Well, everything.
I’m still waiting for the right candidates to step up. That single mother that is trying to make ends meet on a minimal budget. That teacher that has to spend his/her own money to make sure all the kids have crayons or materials for school. That blue collar worker who pays outrageous taxes and sees his paycheck get stretched further every month. That unemployed professional that just plain wants to work. Just work. These are the people that I would vote into office.
As you go to the polls, think about the future of this harbor, and the broken promises of the past.
How come we can pull together every year for Food Ball, and Relay for Life, but we can’t pull together to save our own lives?
Casi LaLonde
Cosmopolis
I’m scared. Scared for the future of this town, this county, this state, this Country. But for this letter, this harbor. Grays Harbor.
Election time. People campaigning, writing letters in support of their candidates, and ignoring the issues that need to be addressed. Soon the newspapers will chime in on who they think will benefit this harbor. It’s all sickening really.
Good intentions in public service have left this harbor in very bleak times. Small town mentality has ruined what is known to many as home. My home. I would like to offer up some alternative thinking in this time of elections, but first, some undeniable facts that no one wants to talk about.
There are no jobs. There aren’t any jobs on the horizon. Families are leaving in droves. Before you disagree that there ARE jobs….I’m talking about family wage jobs. If anyone who disagrees with me can tell me how to raise a family on $8/hr…..I’m listening.
One of the biggest employers on the harbor is Wal Mart. So very sad. I don’t want to hear how you have to shop there….because it isn’t true. I have been unemployed since Sept. of 2006 and haven’t stepped foot inside that building. What is worse than the numbers they employ, is the the numbers that shop there! Yep, keep using self checkout too….eliminates more jobs!
WE as a harbor need to understand it’s time to re-visualize the future of our towns and resources. Fish and Timber are nothing to lean on anymore. I can’t believe I have to say that out loud. Industry either needs to come back, without bureaucratic b.s., or we need to shift gears and find a new way to survive.
WE have resources in this town that we haven’t even begun to utilize. Everyday almost everyone on the harbor drives over the biggest one. It’s called the Chehalis River. For goodness sakes people…..haven’t you not noticed the wetness under the bridge? I hope I don’t need to spell out that this river is full of other resources too. Nope…guess not…it’s probably more important that AHS getting artificial turf! Absurd.
WE have people of every age, race and creed walking the streets of this county with no place to call home. If It helps you sleep at night to donate $5 to the mission, well then I guess that is your choice. It doesn’t even begin to solve the problem. WE should be embarrassed and should expect more from ourselves.
WE have children that need and deserve hope.
WE have teachers that are working without the resources they need.
WE have entrepreneurs that can’t start businesses.
WE have people that want to work.
WE have problems that can’t be ignored any further.
This harbor and the towns on it are surrounded by rich history, natural resources, and very capable people willing to save their community. So why do we remain stagnant?
I know there are Civic Groups and Organizations trying to blaze forward and make a difference. However, much like politics, if you don’t get a consensus on what the future needs and holds, it isn’t going to work. This is a fact. And also much like politics, if you don’t involve everyone, from every economic stance, you may as well mow your grass with the vacuum cleaner.
So what does public service mean this year to the future of your town or your county? Well, everything.
I’m still waiting for the right candidates to step up. That single mother that is trying to make ends meet on a minimal budget. That teacher that has to spend his/her own money to make sure all the kids have crayons or materials for school. That blue collar worker who pays outrageous taxes and sees his paycheck get stretched further every month. That unemployed professional that just plain wants to work. Just work. These are the people that I would vote into office.
As you go to the polls, think about the future of this harbor, and the broken promises of the past.
How come we can pull together every year for Food Ball, and Relay for Life, but we can’t pull together to save our own lives?
Casi LaLonde
Cosmopolis
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Missing you ......
Losing a loved one sucks. It sucks at different levels, depending on the relationship, but none the less, you will feel something.
Aside from my daughter Lydia, the longest relationship of my life was my dog, Gladys. That speaks volumes about my relationship skills! I'd post my number for all you single hotties, but finding out I'm a controlling bitch through the written word is much more satisfying for me.
My ex husband and I adopted her from the shelter as a pup. Through the years, the divorce, the jobs, the boyfriends, the child...there she was. My girl. Gladys.
I remember when she got sick. Spent a lot of money to save her. Money I didn't have at the time, but when you love someone, how can you not?
She had a great last month or so. Saw the canal, and Puget Sound, and all the shit I should have showed her before she got ill. Made me feel like an asshole.
The morning I came home from clam digging, and she couldn't get up, I knew it was the day. Called the vet, got the kid out of school....and off we went.
I felt an obligation to not let her die alone. One of the single biggest regrets of my life. That 5 minutes is etched in the shallows of my brain and reminds me often of how much it hurts to lose someone, and to watch them die.
That brain....filled with all sorts of agonizing crap.
I lost my dad when I was 5. Cancer. Even the last visit in the hospital doesn't stick in my mind. It was the funeral. The smells, the sounds, the tears. Fucked up shit.
Loss is inevitable. I lost a grandfather. An incredible school mate. A pseudo dad. A vibrant client. And what do I get to do? Nothing. Not a god damned thing.
I would love to be able to prevent death of those that mean the most to me. However, then I'd have to being all Jesus-Like....and honestly, the friends I do have can barely stand to be around me now. I don't need a super power.
I just get to remember.
I try to tell myself that loss has helped mold me into a stronger person. But that is bullshit. The truth is, I'm no different that anyone else. WE all get to watch people we love die. Yay for being a human! Good Times.
I can do something though. I can amend my behavior.
I haven't always been the best at keeping in contact with the people that mean the most to me. I guess that's part of my inflated self love. But I can change. I can reach out, even if it's just a phone call, or social media. I can reach out.
And so can you. Today's lesson boys and girls, is one I have had to learn the hard way. Make time for those that mean the most to you. Leaving an imprint on someone is a selfless act. The alternative is being terrorized by demons in your brain,...those demons named appropriately guilt and shame.
Make time.
Aside from my daughter Lydia, the longest relationship of my life was my dog, Gladys. That speaks volumes about my relationship skills! I'd post my number for all you single hotties, but finding out I'm a controlling bitch through the written word is much more satisfying for me.
My ex husband and I adopted her from the shelter as a pup. Through the years, the divorce, the jobs, the boyfriends, the child...there she was. My girl. Gladys.
I remember when she got sick. Spent a lot of money to save her. Money I didn't have at the time, but when you love someone, how can you not?
She had a great last month or so. Saw the canal, and Puget Sound, and all the shit I should have showed her before she got ill. Made me feel like an asshole.
The morning I came home from clam digging, and she couldn't get up, I knew it was the day. Called the vet, got the kid out of school....and off we went.
I felt an obligation to not let her die alone. One of the single biggest regrets of my life. That 5 minutes is etched in the shallows of my brain and reminds me often of how much it hurts to lose someone, and to watch them die.
That brain....filled with all sorts of agonizing crap.
I lost my dad when I was 5. Cancer. Even the last visit in the hospital doesn't stick in my mind. It was the funeral. The smells, the sounds, the tears. Fucked up shit.
Loss is inevitable. I lost a grandfather. An incredible school mate. A pseudo dad. A vibrant client. And what do I get to do? Nothing. Not a god damned thing.
I would love to be able to prevent death of those that mean the most to me. However, then I'd have to being all Jesus-Like....and honestly, the friends I do have can barely stand to be around me now. I don't need a super power.
I just get to remember.
I try to tell myself that loss has helped mold me into a stronger person. But that is bullshit. The truth is, I'm no different that anyone else. WE all get to watch people we love die. Yay for being a human! Good Times.
I can do something though. I can amend my behavior.
I haven't always been the best at keeping in contact with the people that mean the most to me. I guess that's part of my inflated self love. But I can change. I can reach out, even if it's just a phone call, or social media. I can reach out.
And so can you. Today's lesson boys and girls, is one I have had to learn the hard way. Make time for those that mean the most to you. Leaving an imprint on someone is a selfless act. The alternative is being terrorized by demons in your brain,...those demons named appropriately guilt and shame.
Make time.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Believing in something
I guess I perhaps wouldn't ordinarily push through like this, but with time on my hands, and random people pissing me off, this just has to happen.
The past month the word of the day has been re-evaluation. After 42 years....I'm back on the rock. The giant pale rock with no assumptions and or notions of intelligence.
People in general are ignorant. It's not an insult. You have been programmed as such. And that in itself pisses me off.
You all get so caught up in following shit. Shit like politics, and or cliques. It's awful. I want human kind to not be so dumb. Dumb being a relative term, so don't have a hissy fit.
Have you ever wished that you could just follow what your brain wanted? Perhaps break from the mold and be genuine?
Let's just take Obama Care for example. Looks pretty on paper. But have you done your homework? Wild Olympics....can you fucking read? Health care. You are being ass raped and enjoying it.
I guess I have never been an anarchist by nature, or even a protester. I just prefer to follow facts and use my own mind. What if you did too? What are you afraid of? Someone disagreeing with you? Who the fuck cares?
Debate is healthy. Debate breeds intelligence. Learning makes us all better people.
I couldn't be more proud of the fact that I am raising a daughter to question everything. EVERYTHING. Written word, status quo.....politics, television, and even my own thoughts. It makes her strong, and it makes me smile.
Stop. Just stop it. We could learn something from the past. If it feels good, do it. If you feel it, say it. Fuck all y'all.
Switch.
The past month the word of the day has been re-evaluation. After 42 years....I'm back on the rock. The giant pale rock with no assumptions and or notions of intelligence.
People in general are ignorant. It's not an insult. You have been programmed as such. And that in itself pisses me off.
You all get so caught up in following shit. Shit like politics, and or cliques. It's awful. I want human kind to not be so dumb. Dumb being a relative term, so don't have a hissy fit.
Have you ever wished that you could just follow what your brain wanted? Perhaps break from the mold and be genuine?
Let's just take Obama Care for example. Looks pretty on paper. But have you done your homework? Wild Olympics....can you fucking read? Health care. You are being ass raped and enjoying it.
I guess I have never been an anarchist by nature, or even a protester. I just prefer to follow facts and use my own mind. What if you did too? What are you afraid of? Someone disagreeing with you? Who the fuck cares?
Debate is healthy. Debate breeds intelligence. Learning makes us all better people.
I couldn't be more proud of the fact that I am raising a daughter to question everything. EVERYTHING. Written word, status quo.....politics, television, and even my own thoughts. It makes her strong, and it makes me smile.
Stop. Just stop it. We could learn something from the past. If it feels good, do it. If you feel it, say it. Fuck all y'all.
Switch.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
The truth hurts...
As a life long sports fan, I have been to hundreds of games. Maybe thousands if you include non professional fetes.
Most of my experiences have been watching the Mariners. I remember sitting in the King Dome when there were more Toronto fans there than M's fans. Didn't matter which team anyone was supporting though, we drank king beers together and enjoyed the sport we loved.
As the M's transitioned into the Safe....The ante was definitely upped. Everything was more expensive, the venue was breathtaking, however, rules remained the same.
I remember one of the first times I saw the M's take on the Yankees at the safe. I, being a Yankee hater, did my fair share of heckling...and hoped that Paul O'Neill would drop a ball so I could yell even louder. He didn't...but the feelings were there.
Lines were not crossed though. Ever. No beer throwing or misconduct. A game we loved...people united for the cause. The Mariner's organization even went as far to BAN "Yankees suck" t-shirts from the ball park. Class. Always a classy place to take in a game that has brought people together for decades.
I love most sports. Not just baseball. I am a Steelers fan, have been since I was born. I used to love the Celtics, but fell out of love with professional basketball when it became apparent college players clearly tried harder to win. I love college football, Nascar, golf, and even tennis.
Part of the joy of being a sports fan is riding the ups and downs, and engaging in rivalries. Rivalries that hurt no one.
Several years ago I took my brother, a Cowboys fan, to a play off game at CenturyLink Field where the Seahawks were playing the Cowboys. We used the entire day as an adventure. Beers at the brewery before hand, stroll through the venue to take it all in, and souvenirs to take home to commemorate our day.
As it turns out, we regretted ever going to that stadium. Here is why:
Upon arriving at the venue, standing in line to get in, we were verbally assaulted before even inside. My brother, being quite a large man, grabbed me and pulled me close, and told me to stay together and not to talk to anyone. We secured a pact that we JUST watch the game and have fun together. engage with no one. I pouted...I'm a people person. However, it was perfect advice on this day, to keep to ourselves.
It took us almost 45 minutes to get to our seats, as we were pushed, prodded, insulted and chastised at every turn. I had never seen my brother protect me so much. I will tell you, I was scared. I wanted to leave.
Perhaps I should explain that we were wearing our own team colors. I simply had on my Pittsburgh Steelers cap....that is all. My brother also had on his Cowboys cap, and Cowboys jersey. We had no idea that we didn't have the freedom to dress as we pleased at the Seahawks game. WTF?
Once to our seats, we were spit on and pushed, and my brother was very adamant to keep eyes forward and just enjoy the game. And so we did. The game was a close one. Back and forth. Honestly, I didn't really care who won, but my brother did. He would respectfully cheer for his teams' triumphs. This too, was not allowed is Seahawks land. Again I say...WTF?
I took off at one point to get a beverage, and came back with a giant bruise on my right calf the size of a California Grapefruit. Yup...someone just hauled off and kicked me as hard as they could. Good times.
I returned to my seat and my brother was livid that I had wandered off by myself. Keep in mind. We are ADULTS. We were also in a public venue. I shouldn't have been afraid of anything, but I was.
As the game started winding down...things got much worse. I hated being there. I went for help at one point, and the ushers had no control over fans at all. In fact once the ushers stood by on watch, things got worse.
The Seahawks ended up winning in the last moments of the game. My brother grabbed me by my coat, and said, "run!" ....and run we did. We went as fast as we could...trying to avoid being tripped or cursed at or worse. We got out of the stadium with minor injuries, and looked for police.
The crowd was nasty, but we got to a point where we could see our car, and we just had one crosswalk to maneuver and we were home free. NOPE.
At the cross walk my brother was assaulted, right in front of police. As the police took control of the jerks, we ran. WE RAN. Got inside our car....and started to drive away. My brother instructed me to get on the floor as he did everything he could to make it to the freeway in a hurry. He even took off his shirt....and hat. Which was ridiculous. I was on the floor of my own vehicle, leaving a sporting event, scared for my life. Fun.
Once on the freeway, we got off on the first exit and just breathed. WE took note of injuries and made sure we were ok, and vowed never to return to Century Link Field again.
So listen up Seahawk fans.....you are an embarrassment to the sport. Did you know that at the last game police officers were walking around in 49's jerseys trying to stop this kind of bullshit? Did you know that extra security was hired to combat any sort of illegal shenanigans that might entail?
I too thought it might be cool if your 12th man broke a noise record. At what expense though? I happen to agree with the fan that wrote the letter to the editor about unsportsmanlike conduct in Seattle. You have the only team in Seattle with no class. What could have been a triumph for your 12th man and the city, has fizzled to nothing but a congratulations on the Loudest Assholes on the planet. Congrats.
And just an FYI...I guarantee you the Kingdome was louder when Griffey hit one out or when The Big Unit was 0-2 on a batter with 2 outs. Just Sayin'
I am including the letter to the editor at the end of this....to read again.....as food for thought.
It would be simple to fix. Seahawks players and managers would ask their fans to cease and desist, and the NFL would implement a new rule: The visiting team may stop the game when fan noise is greater than a specified decibel level, and should this rule be violated in more than three games, no home games will be played at the offending field for the rest of the season, including playoff games. Things would quiet down.
At a time when the world seems sour, sports give us a place of joy, community and hope, and to have it spoiled is a bigger loss than it seems on the surface.
Judy Spelman, Rich Schiller,
Point Reyes Station
Most of my experiences have been watching the Mariners. I remember sitting in the King Dome when there were more Toronto fans there than M's fans. Didn't matter which team anyone was supporting though, we drank king beers together and enjoyed the sport we loved.
As the M's transitioned into the Safe....The ante was definitely upped. Everything was more expensive, the venue was breathtaking, however, rules remained the same.
I remember one of the first times I saw the M's take on the Yankees at the safe. I, being a Yankee hater, did my fair share of heckling...and hoped that Paul O'Neill would drop a ball so I could yell even louder. He didn't...but the feelings were there.
Lines were not crossed though. Ever. No beer throwing or misconduct. A game we loved...people united for the cause. The Mariner's organization even went as far to BAN "Yankees suck" t-shirts from the ball park. Class. Always a classy place to take in a game that has brought people together for decades.
I love most sports. Not just baseball. I am a Steelers fan, have been since I was born. I used to love the Celtics, but fell out of love with professional basketball when it became apparent college players clearly tried harder to win. I love college football, Nascar, golf, and even tennis.
Part of the joy of being a sports fan is riding the ups and downs, and engaging in rivalries. Rivalries that hurt no one.
Several years ago I took my brother, a Cowboys fan, to a play off game at CenturyLink Field where the Seahawks were playing the Cowboys. We used the entire day as an adventure. Beers at the brewery before hand, stroll through the venue to take it all in, and souvenirs to take home to commemorate our day.
As it turns out, we regretted ever going to that stadium. Here is why:
Upon arriving at the venue, standing in line to get in, we were verbally assaulted before even inside. My brother, being quite a large man, grabbed me and pulled me close, and told me to stay together and not to talk to anyone. We secured a pact that we JUST watch the game and have fun together. engage with no one. I pouted...I'm a people person. However, it was perfect advice on this day, to keep to ourselves.
It took us almost 45 minutes to get to our seats, as we were pushed, prodded, insulted and chastised at every turn. I had never seen my brother protect me so much. I will tell you, I was scared. I wanted to leave.
Perhaps I should explain that we were wearing our own team colors. I simply had on my Pittsburgh Steelers cap....that is all. My brother also had on his Cowboys cap, and Cowboys jersey. We had no idea that we didn't have the freedom to dress as we pleased at the Seahawks game. WTF?
Once to our seats, we were spit on and pushed, and my brother was very adamant to keep eyes forward and just enjoy the game. And so we did. The game was a close one. Back and forth. Honestly, I didn't really care who won, but my brother did. He would respectfully cheer for his teams' triumphs. This too, was not allowed is Seahawks land. Again I say...WTF?
I took off at one point to get a beverage, and came back with a giant bruise on my right calf the size of a California Grapefruit. Yup...someone just hauled off and kicked me as hard as they could. Good times.
I returned to my seat and my brother was livid that I had wandered off by myself. Keep in mind. We are ADULTS. We were also in a public venue. I shouldn't have been afraid of anything, but I was.
As the game started winding down...things got much worse. I hated being there. I went for help at one point, and the ushers had no control over fans at all. In fact once the ushers stood by on watch, things got worse.
The Seahawks ended up winning in the last moments of the game. My brother grabbed me by my coat, and said, "run!" ....and run we did. We went as fast as we could...trying to avoid being tripped or cursed at or worse. We got out of the stadium with minor injuries, and looked for police.
The crowd was nasty, but we got to a point where we could see our car, and we just had one crosswalk to maneuver and we were home free. NOPE.
At the cross walk my brother was assaulted, right in front of police. As the police took control of the jerks, we ran. WE RAN. Got inside our car....and started to drive away. My brother instructed me to get on the floor as he did everything he could to make it to the freeway in a hurry. He even took off his shirt....and hat. Which was ridiculous. I was on the floor of my own vehicle, leaving a sporting event, scared for my life. Fun.
Once on the freeway, we got off on the first exit and just breathed. WE took note of injuries and made sure we were ok, and vowed never to return to Century Link Field again.
So listen up Seahawk fans.....you are an embarrassment to the sport. Did you know that at the last game police officers were walking around in 49's jerseys trying to stop this kind of bullshit? Did you know that extra security was hired to combat any sort of illegal shenanigans that might entail?
I too thought it might be cool if your 12th man broke a noise record. At what expense though? I happen to agree with the fan that wrote the letter to the editor about unsportsmanlike conduct in Seattle. You have the only team in Seattle with no class. What could have been a triumph for your 12th man and the city, has fizzled to nothing but a congratulations on the Loudest Assholes on the planet. Congrats.
And just an FYI...I guarantee you the Kingdome was louder when Griffey hit one out or when The Big Unit was 0-2 on a batter with 2 outs. Just Sayin'
I am including the letter to the editor at the end of this....to read again.....as food for thought.
Unsportsmanlike conduct in Seattle
Was anyone else appalled by the unsportsmanlike conduct of the Seattle Seahawks and their fans, juiced on noise, which surely creates as big an advantage over an opponent as any performance enhancing drug and which, to their shame, NFL officials turn the same blind eye they have to concussions and drugs ("Seattle states case loudly, clearly in rout," Sports, Sept. 16)?It would be simple to fix. Seahawks players and managers would ask their fans to cease and desist, and the NFL would implement a new rule: The visiting team may stop the game when fan noise is greater than a specified decibel level, and should this rule be violated in more than three games, no home games will be played at the offending field for the rest of the season, including playoff games. Things would quiet down.
At a time when the world seems sour, sports give us a place of joy, community and hope, and to have it spoiled is a bigger loss than it seems on the surface.
Judy Spelman, Rich Schiller,
Point Reyes Station
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Go suck an egg.
People amaze/disgust me.
I guess it's probably more my problem than anyone else's. I had a really frank and productive conversation with someone that gets me last night. It was comforting. Having someone re-affirm your thoughts is gold medal shit.
Humans are pretty proud of themselves. Their jobs, their kids, their status. Christ people even go on and on about their degrees and blood type. It's all worthless. It's embarrassing to prance on the earth with most people. Just flaming idiots.
What really matters? What is the secret to life? So many theories, but the correct answer is this: NO One Knows.
This society has gone so far out of it's way to resist individuality, that most people don't even begin to tap into whatever potential they may have. Brains are soft now....
I struggle daily with why people do what they do, why some people act the way they do, and what might be my own, or someone else's next move. It's maddening.
I am however, coming to terms with idiocy, and mediocrity.
Remember, My opinion. Know your role.
At some point, my big fat brain needs a break. And, as a wise man once said to me...let them be. And, I shall.
I am not conceited nor do I think that I am superior to anyone. I just see shit. I can interpret shit that others can't. It's exhausting.
I could cut off my ear, sip poison with my beau, or shiver in the corner and paint trees. I won't do any of that crap. I'm just gonna live.
I guess it's probably more my problem than anyone else's. I had a really frank and productive conversation with someone that gets me last night. It was comforting. Having someone re-affirm your thoughts is gold medal shit.
Humans are pretty proud of themselves. Their jobs, their kids, their status. Christ people even go on and on about their degrees and blood type. It's all worthless. It's embarrassing to prance on the earth with most people. Just flaming idiots.
What really matters? What is the secret to life? So many theories, but the correct answer is this: NO One Knows.
This society has gone so far out of it's way to resist individuality, that most people don't even begin to tap into whatever potential they may have. Brains are soft now....
I struggle daily with why people do what they do, why some people act the way they do, and what might be my own, or someone else's next move. It's maddening.
I am however, coming to terms with idiocy, and mediocrity.
Remember, My opinion. Know your role.
At some point, my big fat brain needs a break. And, as a wise man once said to me...let them be. And, I shall.
I am not conceited nor do I think that I am superior to anyone. I just see shit. I can interpret shit that others can't. It's exhausting.
I could cut off my ear, sip poison with my beau, or shiver in the corner and paint trees. I won't do any of that crap. I'm just gonna live.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Pick and choose....
Just pick your nose. And eat your boogers.
I find it hard to believe that so many people find it repulsive to eat dried mucus. Ridiculous.
From a very early age we are penalized for sticking our fingers in our nose and digging out a dried piece of snot that for one reason or another is bothering us.
Sometimes it itches...sometimes it moves when we breathe and it's irritating. Sometimes, we can just feel it there, and being inquisitive little animals that we are....we go a huntin'. So What.
Most, and when I say most, I mean gallons of mucus draining from your head goes down the back of your throat anyway. You already eat your boogers. At some point in time some debutant decided that if it sets up shop in your nose for a bit, and becomes entangled in your nose hairs, or embeds itself to the side of your nostril, it has suddenly become gross. Why?
Granted, the nose isn't the most attractive feature on our bodies. But it serves its purpose, and has quietly become an beach side motel for vacationing mucus. An now, because these independents, or mucapendents, decided to follow the road less travelled, (forgive me Mr. Frost) they are ostracized, and have become a sign of the unintelligent. The less refined.
Everyone picks their noses. Some say they don't, but they do. It's part of being alive. If you have never had anything in your nose, then kudos to you, but you are also lying.
Kleenex or hankies have become the accepted mode of transportation to evict these demons out of the nasal cavity. Let's face it, they aren't always available. In a pinch, a sleeve works, but equally as frowned upon.
The one finger on the nostril and blow with all your might technique is also in the arsenal of releasing mucus. Similar to the loogie, the snot load can travel mighty quickly using this avenue. Socially unacceptable, but still...it's just mucus.
Boogers are a part of your body. You eat them all day long. Stop giving into peer pressure and political correctness and stop feeling ashamed about picking your nose and eating your boogers!
'snot for everyone....
I find it hard to believe that so many people find it repulsive to eat dried mucus. Ridiculous.
From a very early age we are penalized for sticking our fingers in our nose and digging out a dried piece of snot that for one reason or another is bothering us.
Sometimes it itches...sometimes it moves when we breathe and it's irritating. Sometimes, we can just feel it there, and being inquisitive little animals that we are....we go a huntin'. So What.
Most, and when I say most, I mean gallons of mucus draining from your head goes down the back of your throat anyway. You already eat your boogers. At some point in time some debutant decided that if it sets up shop in your nose for a bit, and becomes entangled in your nose hairs, or embeds itself to the side of your nostril, it has suddenly become gross. Why?
Granted, the nose isn't the most attractive feature on our bodies. But it serves its purpose, and has quietly become an beach side motel for vacationing mucus. An now, because these independents, or mucapendents, decided to follow the road less travelled, (forgive me Mr. Frost) they are ostracized, and have become a sign of the unintelligent. The less refined.
Everyone picks their noses. Some say they don't, but they do. It's part of being alive. If you have never had anything in your nose, then kudos to you, but you are also lying.
Kleenex or hankies have become the accepted mode of transportation to evict these demons out of the nasal cavity. Let's face it, they aren't always available. In a pinch, a sleeve works, but equally as frowned upon.
The one finger on the nostril and blow with all your might technique is also in the arsenal of releasing mucus. Similar to the loogie, the snot load can travel mighty quickly using this avenue. Socially unacceptable, but still...it's just mucus.
Boogers are a part of your body. You eat them all day long. Stop giving into peer pressure and political correctness and stop feeling ashamed about picking your nose and eating your boogers!
'snot for everyone....
It's true.
Why Seattle Seahawk fans are like Modern day Harley riders.
As a fan of a real team, it’s amusing and sad at the same
time to watch the uprising. I can’t help
but compare this army of bird fans to the modern day Harley Rider.
Football, circa 1967…large men, heart of a lion, a few
teeth, loyalty that makes the redcoats seems like traitors. Sitting in below zero weather wearing nothing
but the colors of the chosen one on a bare chest. Tailgating for days waiting for a glimpse of
#17 to stroll onto the field and lead the battle. The kind of memories that make a person even
to this day, smile, and cringe, and feel something.
Part of America, both of them, rich with tradition. And a definition that was
not opposed.
Welcome to 2000 and stupid. Doesn’t matter what the exact year is. These raging
asshats have been coming into their own for years. Because Seattle has millionaires oozing out
of every crack in a coffee cup, the Seahawks have been able to build a world
class stadium. (fuck that…All Hail the Kingdome!), buy some high priced talent,
and re invent their jerseys about 40 times.
Internet big wigs have marketed this team…and it worked. But, honestly, is there room in the world for
real football fans, and Seahawks fans? I’m
not even sure if they know what they are cheering for.
NO ghosts of legends gone by are wafting in the
wind to help bring the team to victory, unless of course you count Bosworth,
who is still eating one hundred dollar bills for breakfast and laughing his ass
off at Seattle Management.
Doesn’t work that way folks.
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