Ah 2014. Winding down and coming to a close. Things you have taught me. Let us reflect.
Well Lyd and I survived 2013 just barely. After I got out of the nuthouse, and moved to the beach, life started slowly getting better. I gotta give a shout out to my kid here. She stuck by me when she didn't have to. Many times she walked me away from a situation where I froze and broke down. My kid is strong, and she made me stronger. All that time dealing with PTSD, and all I wanted was to find was a lesson in all of it for her. OH there were lessons....for both of us.
Lesson one: Don't get raped.
Lesson two: Don't take your own life.
Lesson three: heal.
I laugh as I write that. I can look back and laugh, and that shit is a win. I/we are survivors.
I feel completely idiotic as I reflect. My problems seem so little now. It reminds me of an old boyfriend that fought the war in the middle east after 9-11. He was a member of the British Military. I asked him when he was on leave what it was like to be there. He laughed, uncontrollably as he recalled how he and his fellow soldiers laughed as the shrapnel flew and the sound was deafening. It was surreal. It was out of body. It was fucking scary. I can't pretend I know what it's like to go to war, but I can totally relate to what it is like to feel that way. Just doesn't seem real now.
And, now......I'm alive. So alive.
So Lydia and I continue to struggle in our love lives. This is the 20th year in a row that Jay Buhner hasn't called to tell me he divorced Leah and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. And...so I wait. As for Lydia, after Kyle Seager signed his new contract, and flaunted the whole..."i have a wife bs." she (we) have now set our sights on Corey Seager. (Kyle's little bro) I think he will make a fine son in law.
I like Lyd's chances better than mine.
Lydia has had a really great year. As most know, I am damned proud of her. And here is why. The kid is an excellent student and continues to amaze me in her journey for knowledge. The best thing she has said to me all year is, "I actually hear your words coming out of my mouth mom." Is there a greater honor?
She had a fine year playing fast pitch for HHS. Being a 2nd baseman her entire career and getting moved to center-field was an adjustment. But, like she always does, she worked her ass off and made all conference 2nd league the first year at her new position. And...her mom got honorable mention in the coaches meeting....sigh.
Her heart remains planted in Washington Thunder Country, where she plays many positions. She has formed some unbelievable friendships and has some outstanding coaches. It has transformed her into an even better person than she used to be.
And....that is really all that Lydia does....play ball. Except for, volunteering at a food bank, hunting and killing a nice buck, attending and cheering for many sports at her school, attending her brothers events and games, and loving me and the rest of her family.
I have met some amazing people this year. I have also met a lot of assholes. I'm gonna say it's about a 60/40 split. After coming out of hiding, I decided not to waste any time at all. So, if you fall into either category, you already know.
I suppose I would be remiss if I didn't mention my parenting achievements in 2014.
We had two very awesome campouts/parties at our pad. The first one had me singing at the top of my lungs and showing Lydia the value of karaoke skills, not to mention which alcohols not to mix. The second of such events I had a more practical approach and showed my darling daughter how NOT to smoke weed. I am quite sure I am in the running for parent of the year! Don't forget to vote!
Other awesome happenings this year: running out of gas twice, (slow learner i am), going on a date with a complete psycho that Lydia nearly shot, adopting a new wiener dog that hates me and loves the kid, adopting a cat that also hates me, Joshua Hibbard, getting and either quitting and or getting fired from 4 different jobs, and last but not least, discovering the deliciousness of a 7 Seas double IPA called Ballz Deep.
I hope this year kept you all well and happy. We are well, and we are happy, and we are not buying stamps and envelopes and mailing this letter. We have gone virtual.
So here is a virtual hug and kiss. Goodbye 2014--forever.
Casi and Lydia
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